“Some times we are trapped by fear but we need to trust God for help in all our fears in becoming a good dad”
Some children have some experiences with their dad that is so bad that they feel they may not become a good dad. Some even do not have a good experience of who a father is. For me, growing up I never had the opportunity to experience fatherhood with my dad until I was a teenager and I only had that experience for just 10 years with him and I tell you looking at his fatherhood, I have learn a lot of things, I saw my father’s error and I saw his great strength which has helped me a lot. His errors shaped me to love and to cherish who a woman is and has helped me to break the bones of that “manly” nature that is not so humble. I learn from his great strength on fatherhood on how to care for children, how to really be a sacrificial father. Though never for once did I ever think maybe I will be a bad father, I have learn to respond to what God is bringing my way when it comes to marriage. There are some books that God instructed me specifically to read which I may never see again and took to that instruction by buying such books and reading them. God has created in me such passion and drive to read materials on marriage and also God has engaged my heart to be so open to all that He is bringing my way in regards to becoming a good dad. Many times I wonder what the Lord is actually doing, which sometimes and till now I don’t understand but what I do is to follow Him knowing that I’ll never miss the road.
I know some guys may be in this shoe where they don’t have a good father so to say and they are married but the fear of how their fathers was keep coming to mind that “can I ever be a good father?” because no one mentored them into it and maybe the church they attend never spoke about it. But the truth is, God has actually made you to be a good father and as you release yourself to Him, He will heal the wound you had about your dad and make you become a good dad. I believe you won’t repeat that process as you submit to God. God is set to help you and you don’t have to fear. I must say you will need go forgive your dad and let go of every wounds that you experienced. You may even be reading and you’re a lady and you had that experience, so you are afraid if your husband will not be like your dad, you need to take away that fear right now and focus on God to help you. You need to see God now as your Father and trust Him to help you. I read a book FIRST TIME DAD, it’s such a great book, you need to see what the author John Fuller said about his friend
“If there’s one man who should have feared being a dad, it would be my friend Jim Daly, whose father left the family when Jim was five. After a couple of years in which Jim lacked an adult male figure in his life, Jim’s mom married a man who was hostile toward her five kids. The day of his mom’s funeral (she died from cancer when Jim was nine), that stepfather walked out of the home and left the children to fend for themselves. In a few short years, Jim had experienced terrible modeling by those two men. His biological dad showed selfishness and a lack of accountability to his fam-ily. His stepdad repeated that example. “could have blamed him for fearing he’d repeat those patterns of parenting?
The good news is that, with God’s help, Jim Daly is a fine father to two young boys. He makes time for them, he loves them in ways they can appre-ciate, and he loves their mom and models a wonderful Christian mar-riage to his kids. While quick to admit he isn’t perfect, Jim is breaking the chain of bad living and making a huge difference in the lives of his wife and children. He shows that a new family tree can be planted, and that fear doesn’t have to prevent a man from becoming a good dad.”
You must be encouraged and take away that fear and trust the Lord to help you. Your experience is not the worst experience, even if it is God can make you become a good dad, just trust Him and be open to the Lord. You can read more on FATHERHOOD, REFLECTING THE FATHERHOOD OF GOD, MENTORING YOUR SON ON THE PATH WAY TO FATHERHOOD and SECURING FATHERHOOD