“Couples are actually different to be compatible”
Our differences can work in our marriages, true we all come from different families and we are being raised from different homes, the way we see things will be different and our attitude to things will also be different. What you laugh at in your family may be what they cry at in her family, you may even be from a home where you throw dresses up and down and your partner is from a home where they arrange all their clothes. You may even be the type that places hanger of the left while hanging your clothes and in the other person’s family the best place is to hang it at the right hand. Maybe your family love to always eat “swallows” with hand but her family sees it at being dirty using your hand to eat and you might never have tried it before all your life and her family uses fork. This has cause a lot of problems in homes and we need to make adjustments. We need to understand that this is now a different family and we need to make our marriage work, now these are the things to do.
- BE OPEN TO LEARN NEW THINGS
You need to understand what your partner love and what he hates, especially when you know that what she is saying is right, one thing to do is to have an open heart to learn and not to be stocked by what you have been used to. I understand that change is one of the difficult things to do, humans rarely love to change we love to stick to what we have been used to.
“We must be ready to learn and be willing to change”
I still have some attitudes that am working on intentionally and trusting the Lord to help me on. When couples stick to what they know alone and are not ready to learn, it is not a good thing even when you are right, ensure that first of all you’re always ready to listen and then help him out on that area where you feel he needs to change. Let’s take for example, maybe your husband love to drop his shoes just anywhere in the living room, anywhere. You can always help him pick it up to the right place and then correct him in meekness of heart, correction is at best when done in meekness of heart when someone do wrong.
Galatians 6:1 Dear brothers, if a Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him back onto the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who is in the wrong. (The Living Bible)
We need be meek when correcting ourselves because the next time may be you, am sure your home family too didn’t have it all perfect and even if you do, your partner may still see something wrong to correct you about. You correct one another in meekness and this is not to be looking for one another’s fault but understanding that this is my wife, this is my husband and we have to help one another to be better. You must learn to correct in meekness and give room for one another’s errors.
- MAKING ENOUGH ROOM FOR ONE ANOTHER’S FAULT
This will help clear offenses and it may never even come, we must not be children in marriage by counting offenses by saying “that’s how you did last year” we must not do that, we must learn to forgive and even forbear one another before the offend comes
Ephesians 4:2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;
Ephesians 4:2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. (New Living Translation)
Our differences does not matter, we may even be offended in words but we must be ready to make room for one another’s fault and learn to embrace each other so that our differences can blend to become one.
Colossians 3:13 MAKE ALLOWANCE FOR EACH OTHER’S FAULTS, AND FORGIVE anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Our differences should not separate us, love is an enough ingredient that holds our marriage together even our differences. When we look at God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ and God the Holy Spirit, they are different in functions yet they are One, giving preference to one another. God the Father dwells in unapproachable light, but Jesus Christ can appear in the flesh and He reveals the Father, the Holy Spirit is a Spirit yet speaks what He hears from Jesus because He will not speak of Himself. We see that Jesus need to continue in man but can no longer be here in the flesh so He sent the Holy Spirit and the Father can not be seen so He sent the Son Jesus Christ. We have no occasion of their fight before because they are One. Don’t commit the error of saying they are Deity, the truth is when we live in the revelation of how the Godhead is, we will learn to submit and embrace our differences, we will then see that God actually made it so to bring out our oneness. The purpose of God in our differences is that we might unite and be one because Jesus prayed it for us as a church and we see how He has actually made us one and we need to press on in our marriages to bring that oneness out even with our differences as the Spirit of God will help us.